How to Calm Entreprenurial Chaos and Outwit the Overwhelm

For the first 45 years of my life, I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me.

I was smart. Creative. Resourceful as hell. I could hyperfocus my way through learning almost anything that interested me. But somehow I couldn't consistently start projects I desperately wanted to work on, stick with them long enough to see them through (unless a client or boss was breathing down my neck), or keep up with systems that everyone else seemed to swear by.

Every new planner was definitely going to be The One.

Every productivity app was going to fix my life.

Every Monday was a fresh start.

And by Thursday? Well... let's just say my brain had wandered off chasing a shiny new idea while my to-do list quietly judged me from somewhere...where'd that thing get to, anyway?

Then my boyfriend, who was diagnosed AuDHD suggested I might have one - or both! - of those issues. My initial reaction was, of course, Autism? No fuckin' way. Yet I had to admit; he was highly intelligent, successful at work, and pretty socially adept (just like me)...and also Autistic.

So of course I fell into a rabbit hole researching, and noticed that there was a lot of overlap between the diagnostic criteria for Autism and ADHD. So maybe I had ADHD, and just had it "trained" out of me because I was socialized as female.

Soon, decades of feeling hopeless started to make sense.

• I wasn't lazy.

• I wasn't hopeless.

• I wasn't "just not trying hard enough."

My brain had simply been trying to run software that wasn't built for it.

A couple more years of research later (what can I say, I'm thorough...) and I realized that all my "weirdness" as a child (a lot of which never actually left as I progressed into adulthood)...that was the autism side of things.

• My difficulties making friends because I never understood what I was doing wrong? Yup.

• The fact that I couldn't socialize for more than a couple hours without becoming dysregulated? Oh yeah.

• The way I longed for someone to hang out with me while I cleaned my room, just as I had done for others? Mm-hmm.

• My sensory sensitivities to textures, foods, sudden bright lights, and loud places? Bingo.

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you've been through a similar epiphany, yet you don't want it to hold you back. Maybe you've got a business idea that won't leave you alone—or maybe you're already successful—but you keep feeling like you're constantly getting in your own way.

Here's what I want you to know: Your brain isn't the problem. YOU aren't the problem.

Trying to run your business using systems built for neurotypical brains? That's the problem.

Research into both ADHD and autism tells us that executive functioning isn't about intelligence or motivation. It's about how the brain manages things like task initiation, working memory, planning, attention regulation, and task switching. In other words, if getting started feels impossibly hard while simultaneously having seventeen brilliant business ideas... congratulations. Your brain is doing its AuDHD thing.

The good news?

You don't have to become a different person; you just need better supports!

When your environment works with your brain instead of against it, you stop wasting so much precious energy fighting yourself. You spend less time trying to trick yourself into working and more time actually creating the amazing things you're capable of creating.

Let's talk about some ways to make that happen.

Okay, "borrow someone else's nervous system" isn't a technical/scientific term.

The actual term is body doubling.

But honestly? That's kind of what's happening.

Our nervous systems are social. Humans regulate one another all the time. For many ADHD and AuDHD folks, simply having another person quietly present can make it dramatically easier to start tasks, stay engaged, and resist wandering off to alphabetize the spice rack because suddenly that feels urgent.

Body doubling creates just enough external structure to help your executive functioning get over the "starting hump." Inside the Cozy Coworking Crew Discord, body doubling is available whenever your brain decides it's finally willing to cooperate.

Notice I didn't say "every Tuesday at 2:00." Because... have you met an AuDHD brain?

• Sometimes your motivation shows up at 7:43 a.m.

• Sometimes it's 11:15 at night.

• Sometimes it appears halfway through making coffee and says, "QUICK! NOW'S OUR CHANCE!"

That's why our coworking rooms are always open.

Want quiet focus? We gotchu.

Want to chatter while you work? We've got that too.

Need someone around while you fold laundry, crochet, build your website, clean the kitchen, answer emails, play Stardew Valley after a stressful client call, or finally tackle the Mount Everest of unopened mail? Yep, we're down for that, too.

And before your brain invents another reason not to join...

No, you don't have to turn your camera on.

Some people love being visible.

Some don't.

Either way, you get the accountability without the pressure.

Come exactly as you are—even if "as you are" currently resembles a caffeinated raccoon with 117 browser tabs open and a floordrobe in the background.

But what if you don't think you need body doubling, or you've tried it, and it just didn't work?

One of the cruelest parts of entrepreneurship is how isolating it can be.

One of the cruelest parts of being late-identified AuDHD is spending years believing you're the only one whose brain works like this.

Put those together and...whew. That's a helluva recipe for feeling broken.

Here's the thing, though: You were never supposed to do this alone.

Our brains are wired for connection. We regulate stress through co-regulation with other humans. Feeling seen and understood literally changes how our nervous systems respond.

That's why the Cozy Coworking Crew isn't just coworking - it's community.

Throughout the day we chat asynchronously about what's working, what's absolutely kicking our asses, and the tiny victories that neurotypical people might not realize deserve celebration.

• Finally sent that email? Hell yes!

• Remembered to eat lunch before 4 p.m.? Gold star.

• Actually finished the thing instead of starting twelve new things? Someone is going to celebrate with you.

And on the days when executive dysfunction has you staring blankly at your laptop wondering how you forgot your own name...

We'll be there then, too.

You don't have to pretend you've got it all together. Frankly, most of us are just trying to keep our metaphorical squirrels pointed in roughly the same direction.

Here's something I absolutely love about AuDHD folks: Collectively, we're ridiculously good problem-solvers.

Individually though? Sometimes we get spectacularly stuck.

You know the feeling...you've spent three hours trying to solve one tiny business problem.

• You've considered fourteen options.

• Made seventeen flowcharts.

• Gone down six research rabbit holes.

Now you're somehow reading about octopus intelligence instead of making progress on your problem?

Yep, we've all been there.

Sometimes what your brain actually needs isn't more thinking - it's another perspective.

Because it's a private, well-moderated server, it's safe to ask questions inside the Cozy Coworking Crew Discord. Questions like:

• "How would you approach this?"

• "What system has actually worked for you?"

• "Can someone sanity-check my idea?"

Often, another member has already wrestled with the exact same issue.

Instead of burning all your spoons trying to invent the perfect solution from scratch, you get to borrow ideas, experiment, adapt, and move on.

Because progress beats perfection Every. Single. Time.

I am, admittedly, a recovering Type A, who wishes I could be online, working on my business, 24/7.

Alas, I cannot. So I can't promise another human will be online every minute of every day.

What I can tell you is that our community keeps growing, and members are joining from more and more time zones. Your odds are getting better all the time.

And honestly?

Even when nobody else is in the room, body doubling can still work.

One of my favorite examples is a member who regularly streams herself making dinner for her family. Sometimes nobody else is online at that time of day, but she still does it.

She calls it her "weird little cooking show."

And somehow, knowing that she could be sharing the experience changes how the task feels, and gives her the accountability she needs. That's the beautiful thing about creating external supports - sometimes they work in ways that seem weird, but at least they work.

If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this:

Stop trying to become the version of yourself that productivity influencers keep promising is just one planner away.

She's not coming.

And honestly?

She doesn't need to.

You don't need more discipline.

You don't need another color-coded system you'll abandon by next Tuesday.

You need supports that actually match the way your brain works:

• Body doubling

• Community

• People who understand

• A place where asking for help is normal instead of embarrassing

Because when you stop spending so much energy fighting your own brain, you finally have room to do what you started your business to do in the first place:

• Create.

• Help people.

• Build something that matters.

The world needs what your wonderfully weird brain has to offer!

If you're tired of trying to "fix yourself" and ready to try something that actually works with your brain, I'd love to invite you into the Cozy Coworking Crew.

For just $7 a month, you'll get access to always-open body doubling rooms, a community that genuinely gets it, and a group of fellow AuDHD entrepreneurs who'll celebrate your wins, help you through the hard days, and remind you that you're definitely not the only one wondering where you put your coffee... while you're holding it.

Come as you are. Messy desk, half-finished ideas, random hyperfixations and all!

We'll be happy to see you. 🥰